I didn't realize the impact coach had on training until he left. He was gone today, and he will be gone for the next week, and now I feel that I have been dropped off for summer camp and I already want to go home. I don't know how you garage soldiers do it. I salute you. I am having a hard time staying focused and motivated while coach is out of the gym. It would be so easy to just not train, half ass it, skip squats, or even skip the whole damn week of training all together. For the first time the front door is wide open. There are no bars caging me inside. There is no ball and chain around my ankle. I could make a run for it right now and never come back. I could go with rest and live with her forever, or at least for a week, but I don't know if she would ever let me train again. I heard that once you lay with rest, you are doomed forever. The small vacation time you thought you were on turns into a jail of its own. But today I stayed and trained hard. The world team next year is the only thing in life that matters to me. I am proud of myself for pushing throughout today. I felt I made a good impact on my teammates. They saw me training hard, so they trained hard. I am not saying they do whatever I do, but I feel that I am at times the leader, and today I led, hopefully making them better. I kept looking over at coach only to find an empty chair. My head would tilt to the side and I would begin to scratch my head. This is odd..... what is happening? It's like the world as I knew it was slowly crumbling down around me starting from the ceiling down. It's like wishing your parents would leave you a lone as a kid, and the minute they do you get sad. Shit, I already miss him. Who is going to yell at me to squat, and tell me my v neck is gay? Who is going to ramble on in training about food, how he made his food, how his food tasted, and how I missed out eating his home cooked food? I missed a lift and nothing happened today. There was no look from coach that easily read "what the fuck was that?". The miss was followed by quiet....... how odd. Coach please come back...... I need to be pushed. Without you I might be "him".
Come Back coach 2016