I take a giant sip of my ice cold coffee. Its my third cup this morning and I cant stop, every sip makes me feel better, every sip takes away the stress. I am drunk off coffee. I sit back and close my eyes as my mind races through old memories, new memories and some thoughts of what the future looks like. coffee is my new best friend, he understands what I am going through, he makes me laugh, smile and most importantly makes me feel good about myself.
I am not in the gym right now, I am in my hide out, I am in my tree fort. There are no weights smashing down hard against the floor, and the air is not filled with chalk. There are many more smiles in my hide away, people are much more relaxed and friendly. I hide in the corner like the phantom, trying to stay un noticed in this weird world where there are no weights, coaches or athletes. I drink, I type, and I "people watch". I find myself staring at these people who don't wear Adidas gear as if they where from another world. Maybe I am in the other world and they look at me funny, maybe they think I am the alien. This green straw keeps looking at me, so I take another sip of the dark liquid that puts me back on track, and I start typing away. What the hell am I typing for? What the hell am I writing about? Maybe Its my escape from the gym, from the noise and the same old "who's stronger" talk. I like writing, It feels good to put your thoughts and ideas on paper. It slows everything down. The coffee makes everything feel like I am dreaming, like everyone is living there lives and I am just watching. Who new I would be writing on a blog and lifting weights for the USA. Some days I just cant figure out how I ended up hear. It seemed like yesterday I was taking lines off glass tables, and waking up on kitchen floors. Life is crazy, the different roads it can take you down are beautiful and bazaar. They can be dark but still fascinating. I wouldn't change anything I did back then, I don't regret anything I did and got myself into. There is the world of weightlifting, and there is the world of long nights and car rides to unknown places, but honestly in the end, they are very much the same. I have touched the hot flame, I have been down the dark ally way, I have seen the devil, and I think I am a better person today because of it. I thank God and my mom for leading me to the world of weightlifting, wow, who knows what I would be doing right now.
All I know is that I love this green coffee jungle I am in right now. I need more coffee, I need more training, I need to get stronger. I love coaching. My athlete Andrew Jester took bronze at school age nationals, his very first national meet. I couldn't go with him because of my nationals, but I am very proud of him. I love that damn kid. I love everyone in this sport, I love my Fiance, I love this world, I love California strength, I love big Phil, I love all the judges and coaches, even if you don't like me, I like you. I love the USA, I love this coffee. North 2012