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Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Crack Head

I had a crack head in a head lock last night in the middle of main street at 3 am in the morning in my boxers… do I have your attention!  Your probably wondering to yourself how the hell I got into this situation!!!!  well let me tell you, follow me to the start of this crazy story. 
      It was 3 am in the morning and I was sound asleep next to my lovely Fiance, when I was woken up by my daughter, aka, my dog aka my pit bull.  she kept barking, and it was not just a normal bark, it was a very mean scary bark that I have never heard before.  I new something was wrong from how lexi was barking, and right before I got out of bed I heard a banging noise coming from outside, bang! bang! bang!  it sounded like it was coming from the drive way.  I ran to the window and saw a shadow that looked like a man banging at my car window with something in his hand.  I yelled at him, “hey, hey you”!! “get the hell out of hear”!  he didn't even look back.  He didn't even stop banging at my window.  You would think he would become startled or scared, jump or run or even just look back, but no, nothing.  I then ran outside in nothing but my boxer shorts, and my first reaction is to knock this dude out, attack him is what I first wanted to do, but as I got closer to him I saw he had a knife in his hand, or what looked like a knife. I wont lie, I was a little nervous at this point, I started to slow down as a approached him, his confidence sacred me, I am not a small dude, and I thought I was being pretty intimidating, but this guy could care less that I was there, and that's weird, that's not even normal.  I couldn't figure out why this guy was not even startled or even just acknowledge me, did he have a gun?  a knife?  what was in his hands?  did he have Friends around the corner about to jump me?  all these thoughts were going through my head.  I kept yelling at him, and then he finally he said without even looking at me, “it wont open”    what!  at this point I was so confused, I thought I was dreaming.  I finally said enough is enough, I said, “ok mother fucker you asked for it, your about to get fucked up”!  I ran back to the front door, opened it up, and told my daughter to “get em”!   my Lexi ran as fast as she has ever ran jumping into the air and tackling this guy onto the street biting him all over. He was screaming as she was ripping his jeans like one of her toys from petco.  I told my Fiance to call the cops, then I went on yelling, “get em lexi, get em!!!   fucken get em lexi!!!!!!!   over and over again.   I was so proud of her.  He some how got up and started running down the middle of the street, lexi then started to chase him a whole block.  When he got to the end of the block he was half naked and very bloody.    He thought he could out run my dog! lol that's funny!  my dog was on this crack head like white on rice.  The main street was more lit up from all the street lights.  I then saw that his hands where empty as he through them up from lexi biting his leg, I then went into attack mode, now that I new he had no gun or weapon.  I ran and tackled him into the street, stood up and kicked him in the head knocking him out for about three minutes, then I put him in a choke hold and waited for the cops.  Every time this guy tried to move lexi would snap at his arms and legs while running around us in circles showing these teeth that even scared me! 
     Finlay four cop cars pulled up surrounding us, I let the guy go and grabbed lexi, as all the cops did there thing.  I have never been more proud of my dog, she protected the house, protected my girlfriend and me from harm, she risked her own life to protect us, I am forever grateful to her, I will never own a better dog for as long as I live.  I After the cops took him away and did all the talking and paper work, my girlfriend and I put lexi’s pink snuggie on, gave her a treat, and went back to bed.  the end


  1. I give that funny and awesome story a rating 10.

  2. Hahaha, holy shit, that's insane and awesome