Take off time in T minus 2 minutes. The bar is loaded and ready for take-off. The steam is shooting out of my feet making my red superman cape sway back and forth, like the American flag on a windy day. The operator and director of the space ship sits high in his operation room with his blue monster, his dark beard, his fold out control panel, and his always tilted head making sure everything is......well, no one really knows why he does that. Some say it’s how he sees his vision of a perfect take-off and landing on the podium. He is a mad scientist, he is a brilliant space man, he loves Texas, meat, and Johnny cash. The towel over the legs and shoulders of the space ship keeps it warm for take-off, plus it’s what Klokov does.....and that space ship is fast.
Director Black beard makes sure the check list is in order before space ship superman takes off.
Green Monster fuel- Check
Shankle knee wraps- Check
Emergency coffee- Check
Techno Music from Kevin Cornell’s I pod- Check
Black beard staring at me with his head tilted to one side- Check
My team Mates- Check
The owner of the whole operation, with his arms crossed looking at me with no emotion besides his eyes saying that if I don’t land on the podium successfully then I will be working at Burger King. - Check
Attitude Nation next to me- Check
Space belt- Check
Superman pull- Check
Ali Feet- Check
Tyson Hips- Check
Genetically gifted genes from God so I never get hurt- Check
Official American snatch record- Uncheck
Shankle Blood to get official record- Check
Cal Strength robot heart- Check
T minus 1 Minute! The towels came off, the last bit of Monster fuel was drank, space belt was tight, Ali feet were loose, Tyson hips were cocked back, and the superman pull was ready for launch. As the door opened for me to get into the bar, I yelled out "Shankle" !! Gripped the steering wheel and began the first pull! The first pull felt good and strong as I got closer to the stars. Shoulders are back, ass is down, and the whole crowd can see the S on my chest. As the bar got closer to the knees it was time to break off the back end of the space ship so it could pick up more speed, and that meant time to get over that bar and push those knees back even more! Now is the hard part, staying on this course just long enough so the bar can raise a little higher and the knees can go back a little more, setting the bar up perfectly in front of the hips, (aka) the Tyson button that was installed right on my hips. This Button put the Space ship into max speed and explosion, making perfect headway to the Galaxy called podium. The journey of the pull is long and hard, but I have already come this far so I must stay committed and focused. BANG!! I gripped the wheel as the space ship jerked me around from the impact of the bar hitting the hips. Trying to hold on just for a second longer as the Ship "finishes" the extension faze, letting the heavy part of the ship drop. Ali feet moved so fast after the finish, that fire surrounded the ship catching my superman cape on fire.
Then quiet, everything was still and I could hear myself breath and my heart pound. The Attitude Nation has landed on the Podium and everything seems to be intact. The bar is still over my head….Thank God. Now I just have to stand up and feel the Podium under my feet. As I walked around on this beautiful Galaxy, I collected a bright Gold medal rock, I kissed it. Then the black bearded Director came through my ear piece......he said.......ATTITUDE NATION!!!!!!!!! Superman Pull 2012