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Friday, April 19, 2013

Mr. S

His black umbrella was wet, as large drips of rain water broke our silence one by one, falling off to the side of his chair that stood long legged and tall right in front of my desk.  My feet, now swimming in water, as the white stripes from my Adidas sandals have now become jagged and blurry.  "Why is your office so dark"?  Obviously this person didn't see him sitting in the chair right in front of me. How do you miss a tall umbrella covering a man made up of only bones? It's not like he is hiding anything, I mean look at can see right through this poor bastard.  "I don't know," I responded, as I made contact with the puddle below my feet while my hand grabbed my chin.  I really don't know.  I then looked back up at the skeleton that had now gotten up out of his seat and started painting my office walls from white to black.  His brush strokes long and smooth, as if he was conducting an Orchestra.  His bones have turned yellow over the years from the smoking, besides his fingers, those stay bloody from the strings of the violin he so dramatically plays. 

The black umbrella has seemed to now hover over his skull as his hands musically guide his body right to left as if he was a house wife in the 50's, cleaning the dishes dressed to the T, while listening to her favorite slow song.  My once bright room is now completely dark.  He glided his hands past each other a few times as if he just got done fixing a motor that he had been working on with his son over the summer.  His hands then dropped off to his side as his bony hips crept forward.  I noticed something at that very moment, something I should have spotted out of the 27 years I have known him.....He was happy.  The bottom of his jaw and the top parted ways, as the black holes where his eyes used to be became more dark as they opened wider.  I couldn't help but to smile with him, as I sat back in my chair.  The light from the gym lobby was creeping through the bottom of the door, making a line down my face. A new chapter in my life that has brought me more happiness than any other.  Green roots full of water surround the outside of my gym, as waterfalls from inside create light splashes of mist that hits my face as I walk by on a hot day.  A jungle of weights and a tribe of people beyond my door.....but here I am, sitting in a dark room smiling.  At this point, I realized my smile is out of happiness, happy to feel cold rain drops fall from a hovering umbrella that has now made its way above my LSU hat that I only wear when in my office working.

Black walls and bloody finger tips.  A past that will never leave me alone, no matter what book I open.  A skeleton that has somehow become my best friend, one that keeps me company and smashes the lights out in my office with a broom stick.  At this point I finally realized that not only does the skeleton like the dark, but I do too.  I find peace and comfort in a dark room.  Maybe this is because I have finally found peace within myself and my past.  I have accept who I am and have started to finally move forward with my emotional chains and baggage.  Maybe this skeleton that I once thought was bad, has turned out to be good, and that by constantly reminding myself of where I have come from, it has made me into the man I am today.  The skeleton then slowly turned his head, while his old farmer hips stayed pushed forward as if he was watching corn grow.  The black walls then started to drip like hot wax.  The puddle below my feet started to stir like a storm, and the structure of the umbrella collapsed in mid air, splashing onto the floor.  The skeleton just stared at me, which wasn't something new nor surprising, because the skeleton never has spoken a word to me, I don't even know if he can speak at all.  I wouldn't imagine he could, he has no lungs. My smile turned into concern as I stared back at him slouching down deeper into my chair.  The skeleton then did something I have never seen in my whole life, his right eye turned white for a split second before turning black again. 

I am happy in the Dark Orchestra. 

PS:  I talk about us in my latest Podcast.  Here is the link below.

The Dark Orchestra 2016


  1. Whats up mother trucker, just wanted to shoot a line at you and say keep up the great work on the blog and pod cast (yes I do both so there is one of us out there)! You keep me motivated and excited and you bring some much needed flare to the muscle game in a no non sense kind of way. Love to connect with you through email because I too have been dealt with a lot of drug and alcohol issues etc and now clean and sober over 4 years but you know how it goes trying to stay motivated. Also loved Bullhead check out a few of these if you havent already, Vallhala Rising, Bronson, Rust and Bone, Teddy Bear. I will give you some more but huge art house movienerd as well and truman show is awesome

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